I am 39 years old now, looking at the big 4-0 in May. Quite a time for reflecting, looking back at where I've been and where I would like my life to go. I am from a very small town in Arizona, but have lived in many different places, from big cities to the small town I am in now with my husband and 4 year old son. Life is sure is a lot different now than I thought it would be 30 years ago.
I was 9 years old then, crying myself to sleep after a cruel day at school. All I wanted at the time was to somehow, wake up 'normal'. We had just moved to small town in Colorado. My teeth were a crooked mess, my scar was my doom and I was just starting to like boys. Well, enough that their opinion of me mattered. I was the new kid in school and had no friends. There was a neighbor girl that I played with sometimes but she made no bones about letting me know she was prettier than me and therefor, better than me.
I was born with a bilateral cleft lip that went through my gums and partially into my nose. As far as things go, I was very lucky - but I didn't know, or really care at the time. I lived in my world.
I was 6 months old when I had my first surgery at Children's Hospital in Seattle. I was the very first completed bilateral lip repair, both sides at once. Dr. Chism performed the breakthrough operation after telling my parents the risk, the chance of it not working.
My second surgery came when I was 4, that time in Phoenix. That one was touch up on my scar.
Because my gums were cleft, my permanent teeth grew in facing each other. I didn't get that repaired until I was almost 18 years old. That surgery took place in Las Vegas. They took bone marrow from my hip and stuffed my gums full. They told me I had a 50-50 chance of it taking. It took fine, though I had no idea how lucky I was until reading about other people's stories. I was very lucky to have only had three surgeries. I would like to have at least one more, but at my age and lack of money....I have learned to live with it, anyway.
I was very withdrawn as a kid. Didn't make very many friends in school, moved a lot so I didn't really keep the friends I had made. I dropped out of high school after the 9th grade. Couldn't deal with it anymore. Kids being mean, boys laughing at me, all the pretty visciouse girls. Mom didn't have much money but she did the best she could, of course that meant less than cool clothes. Not to mention I had glasses with coke bottle thick lenses, I was skinny and a short home permed 'do.
We moved to Las Vegas when I was 15 and a long list of changes began to occur.
My mom introduced me to her co-worker's daughter who was near to my age. She was pretty, cool - and POPULAR! Best of all, she was my friend. She helped me dress cooler, she had money so she was always giving me stuff to wear that my mom couldn't afford. Her friends welcomed me to hang out. All of a sudden, there I was - with a group of my own that I could call friends. I got over being so shy and even snagged a boyfriend.....................to be continued.