Part of the cruelest thing about being born with this, or any disfigurement, is that you can very much be treated like the inside is as flawed as the outside. I had to endure teachers talking down to me, wanting to put me in special ed classes ( I was reading college level in the sixth grade), speech therapy ect. Doesn't do much to help an already hurt self esteem. Very few people look at you without negative expectations. I had so much more on the inside. I was artistic, I loved poetry (Kipling was, and still is one of my favorites) I was so NORMAL inside.

The boyfriend I mentioned in my first blog turned out to be a huge mistake. Sorry, no happy ending there - it does come later, though.

There I was, a highschool dropout - not a good thing. It was time to get over being scared of what was out there and find something for myself to do.

I finished my high school education via homeschool and enrolled into the Academy of Hair Design in Las Vegas at the age of 17. I loved beauty school, seemed I had found my calling. It was great to be judged on nothing more than my talents - gotta say I was good at it. I have to admit that having the pretty girls come in and have to be nice to me in order for them to look good felt okay. I don't know, maybe it taught a few of them to not be so judgemental - that talent comes in all shapes and all sizes and wrapped in different packages....

Life threw more drama at me and I ultimately finished beauty school and got my license in California. I started out working in a mall, little haircut place where they line up the clients like a factory assembly line. Pretty aweful but good experience. I ditched the glasses and got contact lenses (huge, major-big-deal for me). My teeth were straight and I got my braces off. I went for a job in a high-end salon and got it. I had a good clientel who treated me well. Over all, my co-workers were okay to me, just a handful of the stinkers who still acted like they were in highschool.

Though my life on the surface seemed to be doing okay, underneath it all, I have to admit that I was sort of angry. I was determined to never have kids. I did not want to pass this on to an innocent little one. I never wanted to be married...I did not trust guys at all, though I did date them. I still had walls up around me, a constant state of not wanting anyone too close. I did push away some really good hearted guys who I think were well intentioned. At the age of 26, I had made my life sort of a mess, I just didn't realize it until one fateful night when I met my future husband.............(to be continued)